We like to carry stuff around with us and people spend a lot of their time living in the past. Revisiting upsetting experiences, going over sad memories and repeating things that people have said which offended or upset them. When we are hurt it can be very difficult to just forgive and forget. We feel pain, anger, sadness and guilt over things that other people say or do to us, or perhaps you have been the one to upset someone else. As a result, we carry around this dense feeling of blame, it comes to work with us, goes to bed with us, goes on holiday with us and the ridiculous thing is that the only person really suffering in all this is us!
As you stop focussing on the mistakes of others, you will stop punishing yourself for your own. Your ability to release what you decide are the wrong doings of others will free your mind. There is nothing that anyone has ever done to you that has permanent effects unless you decide to hold on to it- permanently.
When people judge you, it is your own internal self talk that makes you decide what they are saying is upsetting. You are effectively judging yourself. And in turn, for them to say or do something hurtful to you is a result of their own criticism in themselves. So effectively you become a victim to not only them, but to yourself. When you let go of resentment towards someone, you are not necessarily condoning or agreeing with what they have done but you allow yourself to be free and liberated from the heaviness of carrying it around.
Any day is a good time to think about letting go of some of these feelings of negativity towards others. Some may even be your family or close work colleagues. Whoever they are, the solution is to appreciate that we all make mistakes and are ultimately on our own journey of self discovery.
“He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive”
A Course in Miracles
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