Are you a guilt magnet?

When I look at my little cat as he sits at the back door outside, he looks at me with his cute little eyes but he’s only been outside for 2 seconds and that is because he asked to be let out. So I let him inside again, he nibbles from his food dish and wants to go back out again, this time looking hesitantly at the door being shut behind him! So I leave the door open even when it’s 0 degrees outside and the kitchen is freezing – but that’s ok as long as he’s happy!

Guilt is an interesting subject in any form, it’s an intense emotion that is based on your past, or in your imagination when anticipating an action. Guilt is very much a form of fear, when you feel guilty about something you are fearful of the consequences. This could be fear of not being accepted, fear of being rejected, fear of not being loved, fear of being alone, fear of being forgotten etc.

If you make a mistake, say something or do something which you regret, or is not fully aligned with your belief system, you beat yourself up whilst running the memory over and over in your mind, never really getting anywhere with it except feelings of regret, anxiety and even self hate. You may find that people take advantage of you because you can never do enough for them. But it’s not a healthy way to be and can add stress to your life.

All these negative emotions are sending messages to your unconscious mind which make you feel even worse than you did before. The reality is that there is nothing right or wrong. Everything is just a manifestation of your individual life experience. Circumstances are neutral until the mind labels it. You can simply ignore your mind when it tries to make you feel guilty because your mind is just a computer that is running a conditioned script.

I did a blog a few months ago on the Art of Forgiveness and the power behind being able to forgive yourself is crucial. Only when you can forgive yourself or others can you move on. You may associate forgiveness with religion, but whatever your beliefs it has a very powerful message. Forgiving is the most critical form of self healing, in any area of your life. The route to happiness lies in being able to forgive not only yourself but others who you may hold a conscious or subconscious grudge to.

If you have negative memories of a relationship or past experience where you were left bereft, shocked, embarrassed and hold hate or jealousy for someone. Carrying around these negative feelings are only sapping your energy and stopping you from fulfilling your life in a more positive way.

• Ask yourself what did you learn from these past experiences?
• What can you take from these situations that have made you who you are today?
• Can you forgive and move on, and what would happen if you didn’t?
• What would happen if you let go of your feelings of guilt and how would you imagine it to feel if you did?

“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.”

~ Caroline Myss ~